" Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened by his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. "
I wish I were more like Abraham, my faith not wavering. I am not. I am a sinful person. I am fueled by my own wants and desires. I have set my own timeline for when things should be done. I want God's timing to be my timing. I don't want to be selfish, but I am. I don't think my desires are so majorly complicated, that God can't just flick his finger and fix everything in my life. I don't need a physical healing, I am blessed that I am healthy. My children are really pretty good. No really horrible drug addiction stories to share or alcohol issues or even health issues. I should feel good about that too. What I want is a home that is friendly and inviting. Evenings full of joy and a family that is not constantly at odds with one another. The other stuff, I can wait on. I don't need a big beautiful home (although if you know where I can acquire one, I'm all over it). I don't need my cupboards to be overflowing (my son and I would just eat it all anyway). I don't need a fancy car, or fancy clothes or shoes ( yes, even I went there). I just want peace. The more I strive to achieve it the more it seems to elude me. Forgive me, Lord, I'm struggling in my faith today. I don't consider you to be a genie in a bottle, ready and able to grant my wishes. I know that there is a lesson in this time, that there is a purpose for this time. I just don't want to wait any more. Forgive me, Lord. Love me through these hard days and nights. Show me your steadfast love and mercy. Amen.
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I pray your day is full of hope and peace.