Friday, February 26, 2016

Square peg, round hole

John 15: 19
" If you belonged to the world, it would love you as it's own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.That is why the world hates you. "

Relationships are hard.  Especially with people you have to be in relationship with. Your family. Hard stuff. First off, I am not (in this instance) referring to my husband (not in this particular post, although there is plenty there I could write about, lol!!). I'm talking about the people you've grown up with, like siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles, get it, right? I loved being around my family when I was little. I loved my cousins and look back on my childhood (for the most part) as a happy time. As we grow older, we get busier, we have responsibilities, obligations, financial limitations, children, spouses, new families, so many things that prevent us from seeing the people that we love. Sometimes your family understands, sometimes they don't. Boy, does that suck! Today, my feelings are hurt because I have not been included in an upcoming family event, but everyone else in my family (parents and brother and sil) have been. My mother seems to think, it's because in recent years I haven't been to a lot of family functions. Maybe that's true. I want to console myself and think that I probably wouldn't have been able to go anyway. That doesn't seem to be working for me. I feel betrayed and I feel sad. Forgive me, Lord, there I go being human again. Then, in my humanness, I begin to think, "What's wrong with me?, Why don't they like me?, Want to spend time with me?, Want to at least try to see me??".  I am consumed with it, and therein lies problem. What I should be consumed with are things not of this earth. I need to focus and refocus on God. Not on this, and certainly not on myself. That is soooo hard to do, because the pain comes a lifetime of love that now feels unrequited. I want to belong to my family on earth, but I know in my heart, that my Father is in heaven. He wants me to spend time with Him, He has invited me, He not only likes me, He loves me. While I am hurt right now, I know that it's temporal and when the pain fades away (and it will), I will be stronger and closer to my Father. Amen.

I don't want you all to think I go around being a "Debbie Downer" all day because my feelings are hurt. Really, I'm just too busy for that. I have to say, that my behavior is perhaps more sensitive and (just ask my kids and my husband) a bit more grumpy. Sorry guys, I love you!!!

So moving forward, here's what I'm thinking about today...jeans(I'm such a wierdo)!!!

I have to run to Target today to get some milk (they have such good prices!), so while I'm there, I'd like to try on a couple of pair of these bad boys.

Women's Slim Boyfriend Denim - Who What Wear ™
I need a new pair of jeans and I love the comfort and style of "Boyfriend" jeans.
Women's Slim Boyfriend Denim- Who What Wear- Target $34.99

Women's Midrise Crop Boyfriend Jean Dark Wash - Mossimo
I like the frayed bottom of these Boyfriend jeans.
Women's Midrise Crop Boyfriend Jean Dark Wash- Mossimo-Target $29.99
Women's Boyfriend Jean Medium Blue - Mossimo
Here's the pair I currently own (and love), but the tears are starting to be even bigger tears.
Women's Boyfriend Jean Medium Blue -Mossimo- Target- $29.99
I pray today that on the days you think you are a square peg trying to fit into a round hole, that you would remember you are the perfect fit with your Father in heaven. In God alone you will find perfect love and acceptance. Amen.
Enjoy your weekend!!